Saturday, January 2, 2010

To Catch A Snake

An old Mangyan once taught me how to catch a snake and I’ll share it to you later.

It was exactly fifty nine years and a day ago today when Mamburao became the capital town of Occidental Mindoro after influential elites of the province campaigned for its transfer from San Jose. Prior to this, from November 15, 1950,- when the a bill was passed that divides Oriental and Occidental Mindoro, up to January 1, 1951, San Jose was the capital town primarily due to its general importance and prosperity. But in 1960s, an exodus of new settlers came to San Jose and nearby areas. The economic and development of these areas justified the foundation of new municipalities like Calintaan in 1966 and Magsaysay in 1969.

Compared to a snake, our province’s head is Mamburao while its tail part is San Jose. Let a family member grab the head while you mind the tail and other extremities and the whole snake is yours. Butcher it and let your wife do the rest in the kitchen. I assure you it’s far much cheaper than the caviar at Le Cirque!

Now, let us proceed to the Hanunuo Snake-Catching 101. First is to observe the snake, its length, its colors, and other distinguishing features. If you are not sure what kind of snake it is and if your sure its not edible, leave the snake alone. Second, get a stick or other long slender object, or whatever you have at hand (read : your political influence, money and connections). Distract the snake with those things. Firmly grasp its tail and lift the snake upwards, leaving the front part of its body on the ground, but keeping your legs and own body as far away as possible (read : do not be too obvious of your true agenda). Then, place the end of the stick under the front half of the snake. Lift the front half of the body off the ground. This will keep the snake calmer than if you grabbed its head, and will also let you control the snake's position easily (read: pamper the voters with promises and superficial projects and services). You may tie it up and give the snake a big blow on the head until it is lifeless. Lastly, wash your hands well. Snakes and other reptiles sometimes carry bacteria. While usually a minor concern, there have been examples of serious illness and even death in humans who have handled reptiles that carry the bacteria (read : get away without traces of your big kill).

But let us always keep in mind that snakes and tigers,- or other wild animals for that matter are generally harmless and their power only come out when they are agitated and cornered.

This reminds of the recent call of Bishop Warlito Cajandig, D.D of the Apostolic Vicariate of Calapan to all politicians to be contented with their present political position. According to Cajandig, his so-called Theology of Enough will be propagated in whole Oriental Mindoro this 2010. Especially for their political and voters' education.

Why go for an edible snake when you and your family already have fish,…or, should I say, pork?...

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