All my life I haven't encountered an 80-year old woman throwing, to say the least, bedroom jokes as straightforward and as exciting as she does. All of us visitors burst into laughter when she narrated anecdotes on her private moments with her late husband. She talks like a magpie. So candid and unstoppable. I am certain she loves to talk and share so-called green jokes. Mind you, my subject is Mrs. Virginia Malolos, owner of La Virginia Leisure Park and Amusement Resort located in Mataas na Kahoy, a municipality comprising Batangas province, is a millionaire. We, employees along with appointed and elected officials of LGU-Sablayan had a training on Capability Building and Executive-Legislative Agenda (ELA) formulation facilitated by people from the Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG) headed by Juanito Olave, Jr., Cluster Director for Occidental Mindoro.
On the second day of our training, Lola Virginia suddenly barged in into the group and started her "mara-talk". The jolly old woman was being assisted by two caregivers and she’s just wearing a simple floral designed duster. We can see that her muscles and flesh is slowly disappearing due to her age. She told her guests about her being swindled by some trusted people for more than 10 million pesos. She narrated how he met an accident just few days before we came that’s why she always carry a wooden cane. The old but business minded granny slipped on a slippery stairs inside a Mc. Donald branch in Manila where she’s a franchise holder and broke her pelvic bone. She was married to a retired soldier and they lived in the US for more than 40 years and then came back to the Philippines when he died. They have four children who are all grown-ups now. Lola Virginia, as I see it, cannot hide that she enjoyed their marriage figuratively, up to the last drop! She even told us that when she was a young wife, together with her soldier boy often watch, during their early marriage life, adult movies. Actually, she mentioned about the movie called "Fighting Fish" which I am not familiar of. But beyond her nasty jokes she’s a very religious woman. She further told us that during the most turbulent moment of her life, she just clung to the Almighty. “There is God. Just find the Lord or let the Lord find you,” she reminded us as if she was our mother.
She's also into palm reading according to her so two of the most prominent participants volunteered and allowed the old woman to individually read their palms. Her "findings" downed us all into laughter. But I won't give details here. What she said are too nasty to publish and I, too, would not name the two gentlemen who volunteered before her. Naming them and telling you what she told about them would be scandalous. But certainly, with a host like her, life becomes lighter. She provided a temporary relief to our brain-twisting activities that day including our hurdles with highly technical words such as “Level of Urgency”, “Risk Register”, and so forth and so on. Words that we used until we, headed by Mayor Ed Gadiano and Vice Mayor Andy Dangeros, finalized our Executive-Legislative Agenda (ELA) for 2014-2016.
The Executive-Legislative Agenda (ELA) was conceived to serve as a “powerful vehicle for effective local governance”. It may be defined as a planning document, covering a 3-year period corresponding to the term of local elective officials that is mutually developed and agreed upon by both the executive and legislative departments of an LGU. It is an integrated plan that contains the major development thrusts and priorities of both the executive and legislative branches towards a common vision for the locality. ELA is an instrument that will prioritize responses to multi-stakeholder needs, e.g., programs,projects, activities, legislation and capacity development programs, and put into action local development plan.
"Life is short so make it sweet," Lola Virginia told us and I believe her. I don't know what I would gain from mentioning this but the place is really refreshing and recharging. It is located in the Batangas side ridge around the Taal Lake. It offers breath-taking view, too, of Taal Volcano Islands. You can peep into the place through this link. For sure, I will be going back to this place and enjoy private moments with my only "sweet" on our next wedding anniversary if our pockets allow it. The bottom line of Mrs. Malolos’ jokes is this: Active sexual life is one of the major ingredients of lasting, fruitful, happy and yes, even sanctifying relationship and union between two married individuals.
Yes Virginia, even telling adult stories using the most vulgar words brings re-learning...
(Photo: Grabbed without permission from Ma'am Fe Santos' Facebook account)