A Fake Open Letter

To All Lawmakers Who Support the New Divorce Bill :

Thank you very much for filing and supporting House Bill (HB) 1799 or “An Act Introducing Divorce in the Philippines”. You do not know how greatly elated we are with your recent advocacy pushing for divorce here in our country. If that legal separation clause in our family code will not result to the dissolution of marriage, the passing of this bill is important for we can find another woman treating her the way we treat our previous,- we mean current, partners.

But would you please,- next time, file also another bill illegalizing marriage? It would be the easiest way, or shortcut, to end all of these marital concerns. In addition, do campaign and advocate rigidly for out-of-marriage relationships or “live-ins” especially among our youth.

This bill, if passed and enacted, would really favor us. This would put us to high heavens. Especially our members whose wives are no longer young, pretty and sexy and are already turned-off by their wives' physical attributes thus they are psychologically incapacitated with the essential marital obligations (i.e. to seduce us and turn us on!). Isn’t also that another form of irreconcilable difference that would cause irreparable breakdown of marriage?

Our dear lawmakers, please do not mind leaders of the Catholic church when they say : “Legalizing something that is immoral will not make it right, but will instead make it worse.” Ignore them for since time in memoriam, we do not believe in them. We do not believe in religion either.

Moreover, we do not believe in morality, do we? More so in the sacrament of marriage for we do not believe in marriage as a life- long commitment. To hell with those who say that marriage is a social contract. All we want is individual freedom. We no longer think of its effects on our children and the community. They are just obstacles to the image that we wish to project to others, especially to those young, pretty and sexy ladies out there. That “for better or worse” thing really sucks!

We are very happy to think that someday we can get wives as many as we could through our connections in the courts or be lucky enough to be elected to government offices for many of them are womanizers just like us.

Again, thank you very much, and may you continue to support this marginalized group of ours.


Very truly yours,


Andres de Mano
Chairman,
Philanderers and Wife-beaters Association of the Philippines, Ltd.


P.S – We are thinking of joining the party list next election...

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